On Growth and Moving Forward

(I had a friend I grew up with that I was really sad to let go of. He was also a pretty condescending dude. I’m not gonna name him, but something reminded me of him, and it got me sad. There’s a picture of us on the fridge—he was holding a Guitar Hero controller, and I had a real guitar. I was learning a song that was featured in the game, just to see if I could match it. Of course, I sucked; I had literally just picked it up. It seemed kind of silly at the time. And someone took a picture of that moment. I’m too lazy to upload the pic, but I’ll add it in a future edit. This is what I would say to him now, referencing the picture.)

You had a Guitar Hero controller; I had a real guitar. For you, it was just a game—something fun in the moment. For me, it was the start of something real. Back then, none of it seemed like it mattered. We were just kids. But ten, fifteen years later, I can see how those choices shaped us.

You always wanted to be the smartest person in the room, but you never wanted to step outside of it. You had the potential to do something real, but you stayed where you felt safest, where you didn’t have to struggle, where you were always in control. I get it—nobody likes feeling like a beginner. Nobody likes stepping into something where they might fail. But at some point, you have to. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort.

I don’t say this to be cruel. I say it because I wish you had given yourself the chance. You had so much in you, but you let the fear of being anything less than the best keep you from ever truly trying. Meanwhile, I kept at it. I let myself fail, let myself struggle, and that’s why I’m here now. And I can’t help but wonder—where did Guitar Hero take you? Did it grow with you the way my guitar grew with me?

I know the answer, and I think you do too. I don’t think it had to be this way. You just had to let go of the need to always be on top and actually step into the world.